


A Thousand Ways to Die on the Internet

by freshli



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Canon-Typical Violence, Drinking, Eddie does make-up but he's an engineer student because of course he would be, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Georgie is still dead in this sorry ya'll, Henry Bowers will probably make an appearance, Homophobia, Internet Famous, M/M, Make-up Vlogger! Eddie, Racism, Rated explicit for Richie's mouth, Severe Bullying, They grew up in Derry so that's a given, background Bill/Mike, background Stan/Patty, background ben/bev, but there will be some solid sex in later chapters, canon typical trauma, everyone is 19 or older, will add tags when necessary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-06-30 04:20:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15744168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freshli/pseuds/freshli
Summary: Eddie's been running his make-up vlog on Youtube for a few years now, so he honestly has no idea why his best friend, Bill, would be asking him to be a guest on some douchebag's video game channel. Bill says that this Richie guy isn't so bad, and because Eddie would die for Bill Denbrough, he figures it wouldn't actually kill him to give it a shot.Internet personalities Eddie Kaspbrak and Richie Tozier get off a good one and fall in love along the way. Shocking literally no one. Turns out they might live closer in the real world than anyone realized though.





	1. Beauty Meet Beast

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't follow vloggers or youtubers or lets plays so forgive me if I have sinned. I don't know terminology or the culture behind it, but I do know make-up and video gaming so I feel maybe...that will.... make up for it...Get it. Make up. 
> 
> Anyway, the Losers all go to the same college, but they don't realize Richie is also there. Eddie doesn't know what Richie looks like for a while either because why not.
> 
> I feel like their traumatic childhoods kind of plays a fairly big role in how they have grown as people, so while I have changed the nature of some of their backgrounds, you can still expect canon-typical darkness and violence. There is a lot of humor here, but there will be some real dark stuff at some point. Maybe supernatural? I honestly don't know where I'm going with this at all. We'll find out together I guess.
> 
> This is probably OOC as shit. I don't beta my work, but please let me know if there's anything horrifically off and I'll fix it.

Eddie wasn’t so sure about this and that’s what made him feel guilty enough to do it in the first place.

 

The thing is, he trusted Bill Denbrough with his life. That was the honest to God truth. If anyone asked, he’d die for the guy ten times over without thinking twice. After Bill’s kid brother had been murdered back when they were only eleven, and that had changed everything.

 

What it felt like more often than not was that some of Georgie’s soul had poured into Eddie’s on the way out and that little leftover dust forged a bond between Bill and Eddie that made them feel a lot more like brothers than their blood would otherwise prove. 

 

That’s why Eddie said yes. Because his love for Bill Denbrough knew no bounds.

 

Streaming wasn’t really something Eddie had ever been too interested in in general. For the life of him he had never been able to understand what it was that people found so fascinating about watching someone else live a relatively mundane life. 

 

But then one day when Beverly was over and showing Eddie her new Anastasia glow kit, Eddie tested out the Purple Horseshoe swatch onto the inside of his wrist to check out how well it worked. That’s when he had started talking. 

 

“Oh good,” he had said, admiring the shimmering purple strip, “This is a lot more subtle than the ‘I’m The Gayest Kid You’ll Ever Meet’ t-shirt I had planned on wearing to my first day of college.”

 

It had got Bev and Bill going and somehow they wound up on the subject of Youtube videos. One of those moments where your best friends wanted you to know you were funny enough to warrant being watched by total strangers online. It was technically Bev’s idea for him to start up a channel of his own, but Bill was the real force behind it.

  
“Come on, Eddie. It’s t-totally free a-and if you g-g-get bored, you ju-just stop,” Bill had been saying. Eddie supposed it wouldn’t really hurt, and so he had set it up. He claimed the name ‘Klapbak’ with a bit of pride and did what he did best: put on make-up.

 

At first he got some shitty messages. Most of them were calling him a queer and other colorful variations of outdated insults. Unoriginal as it got, in Eddie’s opinion. Then again when you lived a life with Henry Bowers in it, online douchebags really didn’t seem all that scary.

 

Apparently Eddie was pretty funny though. That and he had superb taste in make-up, which, for the record, he didn’t need a Youtube channel to confirm as much. But he wasn’t going to lie: the validation was really nice.

 

His mom had done a good job on making sure he didn’t have a lick of confidence all throughout his childhood, and she had probably been really hoping that’d carry over to college. It mostly did, but when Eddie went to his first class, it was with killer highlighter on his cheekbones and an extra bounce in his step. 

 

Maybe he was worthless, but he could at least be  _ pretty  _ while being worthless.

 

After all, college was where you could reinvent yourself and Eddie felt like he was already ahead of the game with his channel. This confidence was foreign to Eddie, feeling all at once distant and close, tangible and impossible. He didn’t really know what to do with it. 

 

In the end, he had to thank Bill for that.

 

Which was the main reason he had agreed to this. Cosmic brotherhood aside, he owed Bill big time. And going back to that trust? He knew that Bill wasn’t going to be setting him up with a total asshole.

 

By the second semester of his Freshman year in college and about a year and a half after starting his Youtube channel, Klapbak was a household name on the make-up side of Youtube. Except apparently he wasn’t just that. 

 

Apparently he was pretty known for his tangents too. Tangents that often interrupted his application of eyeliner or lipgloss, where he would stop for a full five minutes to bitch in excessive detail about how vulgar it was to actually use the test make-up at Sephora and Ulta and how the make-up wands were absolutely crawling with bacteria just  _ waiting  _ to give someone mono. People who didn’t even care about make-up would go out of their way to just listen to him go.

 

Bill himself didn’t have a channel, but he drew a hell of a lot of fanart and wrote solid fanfiction for a dozen popular shows and so he was a household name over on Tumblr. His water colors were to die for and really, at the end of the day, Eddie should have seen this coming a mile away.

 

Bill was asking him to be a guest on one of his online friend’s streams.

 

“Please? I s-swear Richie’s a g-good guy. I-I think y-y-you’ll be su-surprised by how much y-you and him would get a-along,” Bill had told him one day after they met up for lunch at the college’s cyber cafe. Going to the same college had been a no-brainer, but with Bill majoring in art education and Eddie in engineering, it meant that they rarely saw each other despite rooming together.

 

“Why would his viewers would give a shit about some beauty vlogger coming by to make comments. What  do you want from me? ‘Oh wow, the color of that blood spatter matches my favorite blush almost exactly!’”

  
“....H-honestly, y-y-yeah. Besides, y-you play video games t-too.” 

 

Bill had a trunk full of specific looks. The look he was giving Eddie was, as Eddie liked to call, Bambi Pre-Motherly Devastation. It was an unfair look that only Eddie himself was capable of trumping. 

 

Eddie’s trunk full of looks was much more varied than Bill’s, but as a rule of thumb, Eddie was weak to two things in this world: attractive boys and Bill Denbrough. Bill Denbrough just also happened to be an attractive boy and really, Eddie didn’t know why he ever thought he stood a chance.

 

“Fine,” Eddie sighed, “What’s his channel called anyway? I want to look him up first.”

 

“Trashmouth Taking out the Trash,” Bill said without even a slight stutter. Eddie wondered if he had been rehearsing that for this exact moment.

 

“That’s so long,” Eddie said, peeling the lid off his pudding.

 

“Ye-yeah, most people j-just call him T-Trashmouth,” Bill explained.

  
“Is he one of those assholes who sits around in their mom’s basement thinking _ Call of Duty _ is a good game and calling anyone on their stream a ‘faggot’?” Eddie asked absently, licking the pudding off the lid.

 

“N-N-No. Actually h-he had a w-whole ta-tangent once about how  _ C-Call of Duty _ s-sucked,” Bill said with a slight grin, “A-And he’s n-not straight. I don’t think I-I’ve ever h-heard him say that s-stuff before. M-M-Maybe when he w-was like f-fifteen.”

 

_ That  _ was unexpected. Eddie puts down the pudding lid and looks over at Bill, his brows up.

 

“You didn’t lead with that?”

 

“W-Well….” 

 

It’s not that Eddie had a thing against straight guys. Christ, he thought Ben Hanscom was arguably the kindest person alive. It was that gamers had a certain reputation that kept Eddie at a distance. It was hard to not equate them with guys who jerked it aggressively to hentai and went online to send unsolicited dick pics to unfortunate girls. 

 

Maybe he was being a little judgemental. 

 

But he did a lot of activism on his own blog. Tangents aside, he did a lot of work for OutRight Action International and the True Colors Fund. That meant he couldn’t just work with someone who was flippantly homophobic on their channel. 

 

Granted, he was all for the people who wanted to use certain words to empower themselves, but he’d never been too interested in that himself. 

 

“Is he like, open on his channel about that?” Eddie asked, honestly a bit curious now. 

 

“Huh? O-Oh yeah. H-He’s bi-bisexual but p-p-pretty m-male le-leaning s-so. H-He does m-make a lot of s-sex joke a-about girls, but t-t-that’s different.” 

 

Eddie rolled his eyes.  _ Of course he did _ .

 

“I’ll watch some of his stuff tonight,” Eddie said. Bill seemed at least satisfied with this arrangement. Eddie kept his word too. After he got home from a long day of classes, he grabbed his laptop from his desk and got himself cozy in bed. Bill was working on a big painting for one of his classes and had been holed up over at the art studio on campus the past couple of nights til midnight or so. Eddie would have time to watch some of this guy’s videos alone.

 

It was easy to find. The guy didn’t seem to show his face anywhere. He had a little cartoon character of a raccoon instead that wore a pair of red glasses. It was kind of cute, and for some reason a little familiar though Eddie couldn’t place why right away. 

 

Eddie skimmed  through the videos wondering which one he should start on. It’d be easy to pick out the lowest rated one and make his judgement there, but he wanted to be fair to Bill so he went for one of the higher rated videos.

 

It was a video of Richie, otherwise known as Trashmouth, playing  _ Rise of the Tomb Raider.  _ Eddie had that game on his shelf and decided this might not be too awful. He was just praying that it wouldn’t be non-stop sex jokes about Lara. 

 

Settling back, he turned up the volume and began to watch. 

 

The guy spoke fast, but not as fast as Eddie could get when he was really worked up. The worst part though was when Richie accidentally toppled off a cliff and gave a shriek of defeat, Eddie found himself snorting.

 

“ _ Eating shit is arguably one of my higher ranked talents, believe it or not.”  _

 

It was stupid, and frankly, not at all funny, but Eddie was trying to keep his laughter behind his hand. It  _ wasn’t funny,  _ he told himself firmly. 

 

But then Lara experienced a fatalistic explosion that left her dead and on fire to which Richie very softly said, “ _ Fire crotch: the leading fatality in young women in their early twenties _ .  _ Let’s take a moment of silence. If you have a heart, make sure to donate in the link below. _ ”

 

_ No way _ . Eddie scrolled down and looked for this apparent link. There turned out to be a real link- but it wasn’t for those suffering from fire crotch. To Eddie’s surprise, it was a link that went directly to the WildAid. In a new tab, Eddie pulled up the Charity Navigator to check it out and was admittedly impressed.

 

He clicked out of Richie’s video and did some digging. Richie seemed to mostly support this WildAid charity and another called Last Chance for Animals. The guy had an entire video of him playing through  _ Red Dead Redemption  _ that claimed for every ‘meat joke’ he made, he’d donate five bucks to Last Chance for Animals. Eddie watched the entire thing and Richie made non-stop dick jokes, talking about how the only meat he liked was the meat hanging between a guy’s legs.

 

It had Eddie rolling, but more than that, in eight minutes, Richie had accumulated somewhere up to five hundred dollars worth of money through the jokes and actually went through with donating it. There had been a counter and everything.

 

Maybe Bill wasn’t so off-base after all.

 

And maybe that raccoon character Richie had made a hell of a lot of sense. Looking at it again, Eddie realized why it looked vaguely familiar. It was Bill’s cartoon-specific art style. 

 

He picked up his phone to shoot Bill a quick text:

 

**How long have you known Richie?**

 

**_Probably since we were like fourteen, I think? We met on Tumblr. Do you like his stuff?_ **

 

**It’s not bad.**

 

Which was as close to a yes as Bill was going to get, and Bill knew it.

 

**_:) Told you so. I’ll let him know you’ll stream with him. Is it okay if I send him your number?_ **

 

**Fine.**

 

Again, Bill knew this was as good as it was gonna get. He felt a little bit hot in the face, which really, was stupid. 

 

He’d met most of his best friends online, Bill aside. Beverly had gotten into cosplay big time when she turned seventeen. She had met Ben online who did a lot of fitness videos but also was a master props maker. The shit he could make out of worbla was  _ insane.  _ And it had turned out Ben only lived in Bangor. Not that far away at all from Derry.

 

Stan had been a childhood friend, but he ran his own stuff, known for making ridiculous true fact videos about birds with video footage he got himself. He also ran a top notch aesthetic blog of nothing but nature shots. His photography was unreal, and it hadn’t taken long for Bev to ask  him to do some photoshoots for her cosplay. He wasn’t nearly as active online as the rest of them, but he still had enough of a presence.

 

After that had come Mike. Mike who had an entire cooking vlog where he made awesome food- and a lot of the food was somewhat themed to nerd culture. The guy invented recipes for shit like lembas bread that was to  _ die  _ for. 

 

Plus, he was just kind of gorgeous to look at. 

 

Ben and Mike had known each other through the whole fitness and healthy lifestyle videos, and it turned out Mike actually had lived in Derry his whole life but was homeschooled. They had kept missing each other.

 

Sometimes it was just a small world like that. The six of them had booked a trip down to Colossalcon as a graduation celebration from high school, and it was the first time they had all hung out in person properly as a group.

 

The rest was history. They guest starred on each other’s videos constantly.

 

And when it came to college? They all wound up at the University of Maine. It was perfect. They hadn’t even planned for it. Well, Bill and Eddie had. 

 

For the first time in Eddie’s life, he’d really felt like things were falling into place. 

 

Now there was  this guy that Bill was adamant that he work with. Why hadn’t he mentioned him before? Although now that Eddie really thought about it….

 

He logged onto Tumblr and headed over onto Bill’s blog. It didn’t take long at all to find what he was looking for:  **_trashingtrashmouth_ ** .

 

Clicking on it, he had no doubt in three seconds that it was the same Richie. He glanced briefly over his ‘about me’ which included a dancing pixel of the raccoon Bill had drawn for him. 

 

_ Richie aka lovingly known as Trashmouth by my millions of beloved fans :*  _

_ just your average 20 yo bisexual with a thirst for manmeat that can’t be quenched. _

_ male pronouns and Big Dick Energy.  _

 

_ Watch me cry over video games on my channel.  _

 

Eddie decided he might as well follow him with his own blog  **_klapbak._ **

 

He cruised Tumblr for a bit when his phone began to buzz with an unfamiliar number.

 

**_Welcome to the new greatest thing in ur life_ **

 

**If you want me to guest speak on your videos I really hope you can come up with something better than that.**

 

**_But baby,,,okay yea u right. I’m richie. You’re eddie, bill’s bro right_ **

 

**Yup.**

 

**_Sweet. Real talk tho thanks for agreeing to stream w/me. You do make up right_ **

 

**Sure. And yeah, I do.**

 

**_Bitchin. Whats your channel_ **

 

Eddie scowled at his phone. Bill seriously hadn’t even let this Richie guy know? He typed out his channel and hit send. His phone remained quiet for a while. After about twenty minutes though, his phone gave another chirp.

 

**_Wtf you’re ????? ?? ? ?? ?? really fuckin cute that’s like. That’s gotta be illegal in at least 50 states_ **

 

**So…..every state?**

 

His entire face felt hot. While he took part in UMaine’s LGBT group, he wasn’t really great at socializing too much. Guys didn’t notice him- or if they did, none of them bothered to say anything to him. Sure, there were a bunch of people who complimented him in the comment section of his channel but that felt way different.

 

That and man, he didn’t have a track record period. There had been one time in high school but that wound up being some asshole playing an ugly prank on him. Invited him out for a date only to dump some pig blood on him and tried to convince Eddie it was AIDs blood. Eddie hadn’t gone to school for two weeks after.

 

This wasn’t some Derry prick though. Not some bully hoping to get one over on the queer kid at school. This was one of Bill’s friends. And he wasn’t some nameless, faceless person in his comment section.

 

**_Idk man if i can do this. I only have so much strength. My knees are already weak!!_ **

 

**I’m beginning to think that’s probably not the only thing weak about you.**

 

**_Oh no_ **

 

Eddie had no clue what that was supposed to mean, but before he could embarrass himself, he shoved his phone aside and decided that he really just needed to go to bed already. He could deal with Richie later, and Bill sooner than later. 

 

He wanted to go to sleep. Really, he did, but his phone went off a handful more times and Eddie couldn’t help himself. He reached over and snuck a peek. Just in case it was an emergency. Bill was out still and maybe he left his student ID behind. Possibly.

 

**_See bill didnt warn me of like anything which is some bullshit_ **

 

**_When would you be good for streaming_ **

 

**_Pls dont tell me i scared u away. I promise i only bite where you want me to and for  you, baby, i’ll bite anywhere_ **

 

**Bite your own dick then. And I’m good to stream this Friday.**

 

**_You kno for you i think i really would take a chomp out of my own organic gluten-free sausage if that’s what it took. Friday works._ **

 

Eddie decided to save some face and not bother with a response to  _ that  _ atrocity. He had a feeling that feeding into Richie would only get him more riled up. It was only five minutes later that his eyes sprung open as it dawned on him what this was probably going to mean for their streaming time together.

 

Except maybe not. Richie had had a few guests on before. Eddie had checked those videos out too, and while there was the occasional sex joke, Richie didn’t seem interested in hitting on any of his guests- jokingly or otherwise. He seemed more interested in bouncing jokes back and forth. 

 

Was he just fucking with him because he was a make-up vlogger? Eddie rolled over onto his belly and snatched his phone back up.

 

**For the record, if you’re fucking with me I’m going to personally deliver my foot right up your ass.**

 

**_I assure u i am not fucking w/u and that u can do whatever you want to my ass. Tho i wont lie...kinda wantin to do more w/your ass but im flexible_ **

 

**_Not literally, btw. I can bend my thumbs and that’s about it. I cant even touch my own toes. I get half bent over & wanna fuckin die_ **

 

**_Wait_ **

 

**_Do you have bf??? Shit im sorry_ **

 

He didn’t respond right away. His fingers hovered over his phone and he stared at the messages. Bill had said that this Richie guy was pretty decent. And the evidence was kind of all over his channel. Shit, was Eddie just being sensitive?  _ No _ , he thought to himself, _ this guy really is fucking annoying _ . 

 

But thinking Richie was only interested in doing this to fuck with him? Eddie had to remind himself this wasn’t high school anymore. That he  _ did  _ trust Bill not to set him up with some genuine asshole.

 

**No, I’m single.**

 

That was that. Eddie didn’t bother acknowledging the rest of what Richie sent him because  _ this  _ time, he really did want to go to bed. He wound up passing out sometime after Bill finally came home about an hour later, his body curled absently around his phone.

 

**ᐁᐃᐁᐃᐁᐃᐁ**

 

“Man, you m-made an im-impression on R-Richie,” Bill said the following morning over breakfast. He had his cellphone in hand and was smirking down at it.

 

“Ugh,” Eddie groaned, “Is he  _ telling  _ you about it? I barely said anything.”

 

“S-Said enough. P-Plus he’s b-been watching s-some of your videos,” Bill said, flicking his thumb over his screen. Eddie wanted to comment on how that was creepy, but he really had no room to argue when he had watched more than half of Richie’s videos the night before. Instead, he focused on cutting his pancakes up.

 

“Who’s been watching Eddie’s stuff?” Beverly asked, holding a tray of her own breakfast and sitting down next to Bill.

 

“No one,” Eddie said at the exact time as Bill answered with, “Richie.” 

 

“Trashmouth?” Bev asked, scooping some hash browns into her mouth.

  
“The o-one and only,” Bill confirmed, and he proceeded to tip his phone to show Beverly whatever he was looking at. Beverly’s eyes lit right on up and she snorted, covering her mouth.

  
“ _ What. _ You’re not showing her what he’s saying, are you? Oh my  _ God.  _ What’s he saying?” Eddie whined, already leaning over to make a grab for Bill’s phone. Bill instantly yanked it away, shaking his head.

 

“N-N-No way. Totally c-classified.”

  
“Bill. I’m your best friend,” Eddie pointed out.

 

“Yeah, and R-R-Richie’s b-been one of my b-best online friends f-f-forever,” Bill said, though he at least sounded a bit apologetic. Eddie groaned quietly, dropping his head against his hand.

 

“Fine, whatever. Just don’t give him any weird ideas,” Eddie said, stabbing a small tower of pancakes. 

  
“S-Sure, Eddie.” Bill glanced at Beverly, but Eddie didn’t bother to pay attention. He was too preoccupied with his earlier-than anticipated morning suffering. Eddie finished off his breakfast long before the other two, and soon was taking off. 

 

The worst part about being a Freshman was the amount of gen classes he had to take. He was taking ASL for a foreign language with Mike, which wasn’t so bad, but the history class he had was just plain boring. 

 

During class, he propped open his laptop, muted it, and scrolled through Tumblr. Coming across a few text posts reblogged from Richie had him quickly deciding that he couldn’t risk Tumblr in class. He’d started to squirm in his seat with how hard he was trying not to laugh, and the last thing he wanted to do was get yelled at in college.

 

His fingers itched to send Richie a text scolding him for distracting him without even trying. Richie had sent him a good morning text that Eddie had ignored, and now he wondered if maybe he was being a bit of a dick.

 

When his professor had his back turned, Eddie slipped his phone out and tucked it inside of his notebook where it’d be less obvious.

 

**I didn’t think you’d be up so early. It’s not even noon yet.**

 

**_What can I say, my love, I like to keep u guessing._ **

 

**I’m guessing you’re a dumbass.**

 

**_Flirting first thing in the morning? Bold eddie, bold. Like your eyeliner._ **

 

Eddie’s mouth twitched into a smile, and he realized that texting Richie was going to be about as bad as looking at Tumblr. He shoved his phone away, ignoring the color rising into his face.

 

Once class was over, Eddie had a goal in mind. He cut across campus and went straight for the art studio.

 

Bill was inside, his hands covered in oils, and a canvas in front of him. Eddie took a second to appreciate what Bill had so far. It was a portrait of Mike with a lamb, and it captured all of Mike’s warmth effortlessly. Eddie had known he had asked Mike if he could paint him, but boy, Eddie hadn’t expected it to turn out so raw.

 

Sometimes Eddie wondered why Bill had bothered with college at all. He was a rare talent that could of done without school, but Eddie supposed connections never hurt to make.

 

“It’s looking nice,” Eddie said, pulling a stool over to sit on it. He made sure to keep his converse up off the messy floor. They were limited edition and pastel pink and Eddie would  rather set himself on fire before ruining them. 

 

“Thanks,” Bill said, carefully working on one expressive eye of the lamb. “Do you think Mike w-will like it?”

  
It was a funny question. Not the ha-ha kind of funny, but funny in a different way that had Eddie looking sideways at Bill. It had been years since Bill had wondered if someone would like his art or not. Bill had been drawing gorgeously at  _ ten _ though. 

  
“Sure, Bill. He’ll love it,” Eddie finally said. It wasn’t the first piece Bill had done on Mike either, but maybe it was the first real big piece. 

 

“So,” Eddie said, deciding to switch gears, and knowing that he had to if he wanted some answers.

 

“S-So,” Bill mimicked, already grinning. The son of a bitch probably already knew. Eddie sighed, twisting himself around and was about to put his elbows onto the table in front of him when he saw how covered in fresh paint that was too. What even was that about. 

 

“Well,” Eddie tried again, thinking. “I was just figuring if  _ I  _ had to guest star on Richie’s thing, the least he could do is maybe guest star on mine.”

 

He had done it before with long-distance guests. It was kind of funny sometimes. With Richie, it might even be a riot. Eddie would send someone a box of products and then try and tell them how to apply them over the video. It was even funnier when the person had no clue what they were doing. Richie seemed like the kind of guy who would have no clue what he was doing.

 

“H-He’d probably b-be down,” Bill said with a thoughtful nod, looking over at Eddie finally. The grin on his face turned into a smirk.  _ What a dick. _

  
“ _ Sooo, _ ” Eddie tried again, “What’s the asshole look like? Skin tone? Eye color? Hair? Does he  _ have  _ hair?” Eddie wasn’t going to say that he couldn’t find any pictures of Richie anywhere because that would suggest that he had looked for them to begin with.

 

“G-Got n-n-no idea,” Bill said, and Eddie just stared.

 

“What do you mean you have no idea? You’ve been friends with him for years.”   
  


Bill shrugged. “Yeah, but it’s n-not like we...really video chatted or anything.”

 

“You seriously don’t know?” Eddie asked, his voice pitching embarrassingly high at the end.

 

Bill shook his head again. “Nope.” 

 

Eddie opened his mouth to ask if Richie had a Facebook, but then decided he’d given enough away as is. He snapped his mouth shut and mulled this over.

 

“Fine then,” he eventually said, getting carefully to his feet. He stepped very delicately between splatters of paint. “I’ll just have to ask him later when I ask him about being a guest.”

  
“Guess you will,” Bill agreed, and Eddie already wanted to smack the look off his face. Instead, he pointed to Bill’s face.

 

“You have purple all over your chin.”

 

Bill blinked and then was instantly scrubbing furiously at his chin. Eddie didn’t bother to stick around, instead hightailing it out of there while he could still maintain the last word and, more importantly, his dignity. 

 

**ᐁᐃᐁᐃᐁᐃᐁ**

 

It turned out that Richie and Eddie had an effortless flow. Eddie would die before admitting it to anyone, but he  _ liked  _ the back and forth between them. If Eddie served as the highlighter, Richie was the bronzer cutting just beneath him. The perfect balance.

 

Eddie had never been a big texter, but with Richie, he was constantly tugging his phone out to send back some quip. It was  _ fun.  _

 

To say he was looking forward to their stream on Friday was an understatement. They hadn’t yet held a proper conversation over the phone or even Skype, but Eddie had a feeling it’d be even better than their text conversations. 

 

It wasn’t until Friday that it actually occurred to him that he might have to be on a video at some point during the stream. Richie hadn’t done it in any of the ones he had seen before, but Eddie was snatching his phone up and sending Richie a text just in case.

 

**Is there going to be any video chatting tonight for the stream?**

 

**_Nah. Not usually how I do w/guests. As much as I’d like seeing your face...  Why?_ **

 

**Are you really asking me, a make-up vlogger, why I’d care about a video stream?**

 

**_…...ok fair fair. Awww were you gonna get pretty for me? EDDIE ;o;_ **

 

**Shut up. It’s called maintaining an image. We can’t all depend on cartoon raccoons, you furry.**

 

Eddie was almost disappointed. He’d thought that maybe even before they could talk face to face. If he asked for a selfie flat out, he’d never hear the end of it. 

 

**_Hunny the only thing furry about me is the toppa my head. Tho I was did wear the mascot at my high school. 7 still good for you, eds?_ **

 

**That’s….actually not shocking. Idk do I hate being called ‘Eds’?**

 

**_Do you really though. I have my doubts. Were you a cheerleader? I bet you were a cheerleader_ **

 

**Are you kidding? My hometown would have collectively burned me at the stake. 7 is still fine. I need to go eat dinner.**

 

**_Ur hometown is robbing the world of you in a cheerleading outfit. They should be the ones burned at the stake. Think of me fondly when you do! <3 _ **

 

There was no reason to be nervous. Eddie had done plenty of guest streaming before. But then again, all of the guest streaming he had done before had been with people he knew the looks of. 

 

Even then though, there was no real reason for him to care that much. He knew what Richie  _ sounded _ like. It’s not like that was going to be a surprise. Grabbing a sweater from the back of his desk chair, he left his dorm and tried to think instead what he wanted for dinner.

 

Maybe before the streaming he would give Richie a call. At least to just have a real conversation first. It couldn’t hurt, could it? 

 

The dining hall was  _ packed  _ tonight, but they usually pulled out the big guns on Fridays. It seemed to be some way for the school to keep kids from going out and partying. Tempt them with food. Eddie didn’t think it was the worst idea.

 

Eddie had to squeeze himself between some frat guys to get a fresh tray and moved himself to stand by the utensils where he could look slowly over the options. Maybe he’d go for the roast beef and mashed potatoes. A homey meal sounded nice right about then.

 

It happened when he looked over towards the fountain drinks at the far end of the dining hall where the line finished off and kids were walking off with their food. 

 

He saw the back of the guy first, and that’s what got him. He was  _ tall,  _ wearing some black jeans and a grey t-shirt that clung to his shoulders. Even from where Eddie was standing, he could see the muscles moving under the guy’s shirt as he got himself something to drink.

 

Eddie felt himself leaning forward, his tray crushed to his chest, holding his breath. He can’t remember the last time he’d been so instantly struck by someone- and hell, the guy hadn’t even turned around yet. Lord almighty, help his soul if he did and he was--

 

\---Oh,  _ fuck. _

 

The funny thing was this: the guy wasn’t some drop dead gorgeous runway model. Fuck, no. It was worse than that. He was painfully, wonderfully  _ real. _

 

He had a pair of the world’s ugliest glasses sitting on his face, the lenses so fat that Eddie could see his eyes shifting about behind them. His black hair was a tousled mess, curling and flipped at the ends. Eddie couldn’t even tell if it was just curly or the guy didn’t own a brush. It was possibly both. His mouth was crooked but the guy was smiling at something someone was saying to him, and the way his crooked mouth tipped into the smile made it look as if he expected the entire world to fall to their knees for him. Eddie was heavily considering it himself.

 

There was tape holding the center of his glasses together, and the front of his shirt was some dumb bullshit that had a solid black arrow pointing down to the guy’s dick. His shoes were neon green and worthwhile of making Eddie’s eyes bleed. 

 

He was probably the sloppiest fuck Eddie had ever seen, but God if Eddie didn’t want him at the top of his Christmas list. No, he wanted him on top of  _ something  _ for Christmas all right, but a list wasn’t it.

 

“Oh my God,” Eddie said, and it occurred to him that at some point during all of this, he had actually sat down. Right there. On the fucking floor in the middle of the dining hall between the utensils.

 

“ _ Oh my God. _ ” The guy was walking away, and with him, Eddie’s soul. 

 

“Come back,” Eddie said weakly, feeling a little bit like Rose on the door in  _ Titanic _ , “Come back.” 

 

But no, Gorgeous Dumbass was far away, and Eddie’s small voice was drowned under the roar of some thousand hungry college kids. A girl with pink hair was grabbing a fork when she noticed Eddie, and she hesitated.

  
“Uh, are you okay, dude?”

 

“No,” Eddie said, and then realizing that someone was actually asking him a real question, he shook his head hard and jolted up to his feet. “Shit. Sorry. I’m fine. Thank you.”

 

The girl stared at him for a second longer, as if doubting whether or not he really was fine, but then shrugged and headed off. There was a reason Eddie has only ever really had five friends in his life.

 

Eddie took a breath. A second. A third. Who  _ was  _ that guy? 

 

That’s when Eddie saw Mike and Bill stepping into line. He rushed to them, squeezing himself between them just for the sake of needing to grasp some sort of reality he was used to. Bill almost looked like he wanted to say something, but wound up closing his mouth.

  
“Guys,” he said breathlessly, “I am really fucking gay. Like, I know I’ve said I’m gay before. I know I came out to you already. But no, you don’t realize.”

 

“No, I think we really do,” Mike said, smiling a bit. “See a guy?”

 

“Oh,” Eddie said, “I didn’t see  _ a _ guy. I think I saw  _ the  _ guy.” 

 

“ _ The _ guy?” Bill echoed, looking around as if this actually meant something to him. 

 

“Yes.  _ The guy.  _ The guy I didn’t even realize was my dream guy until I saw him,” Eddie said with barely an ounce of patience. “Keep up, Denbrough.”

 

“...You saw him here?” Bill asked, frowning now.

 

“Yes,  _ here _ ! Where else?” Eddie asked, and Bill just shook his head, shrugging.

 

“God, he was so dumb looking,” Eddie said a bit dreamily, sighing, and Mike had to snort. 

 

“Do you know who he is?” Mike asked, putting his tray down onto the conveyor. 

  
“No,” Eddie said miserably, putting his own tray down next to Mike’s. 

 

Bill was suspiciously quiet, that frown still on his face. Eddie didn’t pay him too much mind. He was preoccupied with being shell shocked into oblivion. When his phone began to buzz gently in his pocket, he didn’t even think to check it. 


	2. Taking a Tumble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie and Richie finally meet. Eddie just...doesn't realize it. Video games are played and make-up is applied. Boys continue to be stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this got randomly sad, but really, Eddie's anxiety is kind of a given when dealing with ye ole Kaspbrak. Again, I don't really do beta reading so I apologize for any awkward typos or sentences. Hope ya'll enjoy.
> 
> Thank you for all the really kind comments! It means a LOT to me. I never know if I should respond directly to them or blanket thank people?? I have no idea how to accept praise ahh.

Seven o’clock sharp had Eddie connecting with Richie for the first time.

 

He’d spent the remainder of dinner wondering what he had done to deserve being weak in the face of a literal Adonis. But as dinner ended, so did his thirst. He had plans for the evening, and Eddie wasn’t ever the type to abandon them for the sake of a hot guy.

 

Funny enough, the encounter had made him feel significantly less nervous about talking with Richie for the first time over a speaker.

 

Richie was playing through _Bloodborne_ and Eddie got his headset adjusted comfortably while Richie got the game loading.

 

“To my wonderful garbage collectors out there, I have a treat in store for you tonight. The make-up guru Klapbak has decided to bless me with his presence in tonight’s stream,” Richie announced with flourish. “And yes, before you ask, he is as gorgeous as he sounds. I have the evidence of his entire video count and an extremely wet sock.”

 

“That’s _disgusting,_ ” Eddie said through a laugh, which only made Richie laugh and Eddie knew that this stream was going to be completely awful. Bill was sprawled on his bed, watching the live stream himself. He couldn’t decide yet whether or not that made it worse.

 

“Eds, that’s not how you say hi to people!”

 

“Most people don’t introduce me by announcing me as a fantasy for their jerk-off material,” Eddie pointed out.

 

“Well they _should._ It’s what you deserve,” Richie said. The game kicked into gear. Richie wasn’t quite at the beginning Central Yharnam anymore. He was instead just arriving at the Cathedral Ward. Eddie was just getting there in his own gameplay.

 

Despite the crude jokes, Eddie finds himself leaning forward to watch Richie play. Normally he didn’t really like to watch people play video games. He’d rather just play them himself. It wasn’t so bad watching Richie play. Probably because he was so vocal.

 

“Look at this short ass bitch,” Richie muttered about the Chapel Samaritan. “He is a creepy motherfucker. And yet….prime height for a blowjob.” He toggled his character closer to try and portray exactly that.

 

“Richie! Don’t do that! He’s nice,” Eddie whined over the speaker.

 

“Eddie, he’s a _NPC,”_ Richie explained patiently.

 

“Yeah, a nice one, you monster,” Eddie said. For a second, Richie said nothing at all. Then he rolled his character aggressively against the Chapel Samaritan’s face and Eddie shrieked.

 

“Defiling a man in his own church! How d’ya like that, Spaghetti Man?”

 

From over on his bed, Bill was starting to laugh. The fucking traitor. What was worse was when Eddie himself started to giggle lowly.

 

“Doth my ears deceive me? Is thy lady laughing?” Richie asked in an exaggerated old British accent. Eddie could practically imagine some nerdy guy holding a fake skull and waxing melodramatic poetry at it.

 

“I’ve never laughed a single moment in my life,” Eddie deadpanned, and Richie snickered. He moved away from the Chapel Samaritan to get to work on exploring.

 

“I think I can change that. Bet you’ve never tickled your pickle either,” Richie said, and Eddie felt his face heat up.

 

“Maybe not to guys like you,” Eddie replied a bit too late. Richie only snorted, moving out of the building and deciding on which door to start with.  He was running right on out when abruptly there was just a _guy_ right there and both Eddie and Richie shrieked in surprise.

 

Richie dodged his avatar out of the way and instantly began slashing. He got the enemy down after a few seconds and eventually gave a laugh.

 

“Ahhhh. What a way to stay young. Had that from the beginning, Eds.”

 

“Sure you did,” Eddie muttered, “The scream really convinced me.”

  
“Maybe I was just screaming because you were screaming. Didn’t want poor lil’ Eddie Spaghetti feeling embarrassed.”   


Eddie rolled his eyes, and for a second, he was almost disappointed that this wasn’t something with a video feed included of their faces. Bill often told him that half of Eddie’s humor came purely from the colorful variety of expressions he often made without even trying.

Richie moved about to the side to do some exploring. That’s when the weird warping noise began to happen. It grew closer and closer-

 

“What the fuck? What the fuck is that?” Eddie asked, perking up. He might not be playing it, but he was certainly going to. His eyes darted all over the screen.

  
“I have no fuck- _What the fuck!!!_ ” Richie screamed over the speaker, and Eddie gave a shriek of his own as suddenly Richie’s avatar was just seized and swooped up into the air by- what? What the fuck was even going on?

 

“What the fuck, Richie? Do something!” Eddie yelled.

 

“I’m _trying!_ ” Then his avatar was squeezed _hard._ Eventually he was dropped and both Eddie and Richie were silent for a couple of seconds.

 

“...I think I yelled so hard I dislocated my jaw,” Eddie said after a couple of seconds, and instantly regretted it. He couldn’t even be mad when Richie shot back with-

 

“I could give you something a lot better to dislocate your jaw with.”

 

And that was how their stream went. The two of them shrieking at one surprise after another, and in between their shrieking they just went back and forth. Richie made more sex jokes at Eddie than Eddie remembered seeing in any of his other videos, and he had no idea if it was just because he was a make-up vlogger or what, but he rolled them off of him effortlessly.

 

It wasn’t until they were finishing up for the night that Eddie realized he had forgotten entirely about being nervous. The moment he had heard Richie’s voice, he knew that it was going to be fine. He removed his headset and set it down, looking thoughtfully at the finished stream.

 

“That wasn’t s-so bad, right?” Bill asked, rolling over to look at Eddie. Eddie picked his head up and looked back at Bill, giving a small smile.

 

“....I guess not. I thought it’d be more awkward,” he admitted, and it was only because this was Bill that he felt he could admit it in the first place. It made Bill smile broadly.

 

“I think Richie had a lot of f-fun,” Bill said, and Eddie couldn’t help but to feel a little pleased by that.

 

His phone lit up next to him and Eddie scooped it up. Unsurprisingly, it was a text from Richie.

 

**_You sure kno how to show a guy a good time. Thanks Eds. I owe you 1._ **

 

**Seeing you die ten times in a row was payment enough.**

 

**_That is exactly what i was planning. Flattery via death._ **

 

**Oh is that what they call sucking at games now?**

**And before you make a blowjob joke- no.**

 

**_Maybe I was gonna make a cunnilingus joke. Or a make out joke. You dont know me. I got a LOT of jokes about sucking like i dont even know where to begin with that goldmine_ **

 

**Here’s a hint: don’t.**

 

Eddie tossed his phone aside. He got up to stretch, telling Bill that he’d be hitting up the gym. One of the best parts about getting away from his mom had been the fact that he got to actually exercise. No doctor notes to hold him back. He didn’t ever wind up joining any sport teams, but he did enjoy working out at the gym. It felt _freeing._

 

He’d never bulked up, but he didn’t need to. He was happy to keep up on his cardio, do enough squats to give him a devastatingly great ass (or so Mike and Bev once had told him- Bill had dutifully agreed), and work on his arms enough that they always looked toned enough. Eddie never liked his body growing up, but since hitting college and having access to a gym where guys weren’t going to pelt him with insults?

 

He’d come to really enjoy it. Every time his lungs burned with the adrenaline of the workout and he didn’t fall into some hysterical fake asthma attack felt a little bit like the first time he ran away.

 

After the gym, Eddie jogged back to their dorm for a shower.

 

According to his schedule, it was high time for a proper facial routine. After he washed himself down and used some cleanser in the shower, he toweled off.

 

He’d never been a fan of walking around in the showers half naked, so he dressed himself in his sleep shorts and a loose t-shirt, towel slung over his shoulder as he left the small, private cubby.

 

His flipflops clapped against the tiled floor and he wedged his basket on top of the counter in front of the mirror. He smoothed his hair back from his face and got to dampening his nose to apply a charcoal pore strip. He tucked it in and pinched it down until he could feel it set in. He tugged out his toothbrush and toothpaste and got busy brushing his teeth.

 

A couple other guys were showering, but Eddie wasn’t paying too much attention. He could dimly hear one of the guys singing, but their voice carried throughout the bathroom, distorting it.

 

After brushing, he carefully flossed, and then washed his mouth out with some mouthwash. He carefully filed his nails down, still far too focused on his own work to pay too much attention to his surroundings. He popped out his contacts and dropped them into their cases.

 

By the time he was done cleaning and polishing his fingers off, it was time to remove the pore strip. He carefully, slowly peeled it off and examined the outcome with an oddly satisfying once-over.

 

Throwing out the strip, he opened up one of his moisturizing face masks. It smelled like aloe and never failed to feel incredible. Peeling it carefully open, he stuck it to his face, careful to line up the holes in it with his eyes and mouth. He patted it down so it was stuck comfortably all over his face.

 

One of the showers turned off, the guy still humming, and Eddie was washing his hands off of the goop from the mask. He still wasn’t paying attention even as the sound of steps came closer. What really picked his attention up was some warm, earthy smell. Some guy’s soap- but it wasn’t any Old Spice shit.

 

Eddie picked his head up, curiosity getting the better of him, and he almost instantly regretted it.

 

Gorgeous Dumbass was standing only three sinks over. A dark grey towel was wrapped around his waist, and he had his own basket balancing on the edge of his sink. His dark hair was a wet mess on his head.

 

The worst part was that the guy definitely, definitely worked out. Those shoulder muscles Eddie had seen before were not in the slightest part of his imagination.

 

Gorgeous Dumbass wasn’t _built._ God, no. His body was lean and shapely. Eddie would bet half his life that he was a swimmer from how tightly corded his muscles were. It was all throughout his body though- from head to toe.

 

His glasses were folded up and hanging from the edge of his basket, and lord. He was as good looking without as he was _with._

 

It was as Eddie was staring at his face that Gorgeous Dumbass suddenly seemed to realize he was being looked at, because he was suddenly turning to stare at Eddie, blinking two wide brown eyes.

 

Eddie nearly felt his soul leave his body, and he opened his mouth to say something- literally anything. Instead, a small, weak sound escaped him and he raised a hand to cover his mouth.

 

That’s when two things happened: Eddie seemed to realize what was on his face at about the same time Gorgeous Dumbass seemed to. Gorgeous Dumbass’s eyes went huge, and mortification plowed Eddie so thoroughly that he didn’t even remember scrambling to yank his things up and sprint out of the room before anything could even be said.

 

He came crashing into their dorm room, scaring Bill half to death.

 

“Jesus, Eddie!” Bill shrieked, jolting up in bed from where he’d been comfortably laying and watching an episode of something on his laptop.

 

“I saw him!” Eddie cried out, slamming the door shut behind him. “The guy of my literal fucking dreams- and I mean like, my literal dreams where I am fucking him, and also the curse version-.”  


“Wh-what the fuck are you talking about?”

 

“The _Guy,_ Bill! From dinner! You know?” Eddie said, setting his basket at the foot of his bed and draping his towel over his drying rack. “He _saw me._ In this!”

 

Eddie gestures to his face mask. He didn’t really need to say anymore from the grimace of sympathy Bill gave him. The first time Eddie and Bev had tried on face masks, they had been waiting for Bill to show up at Bev’s aunt’s house.

 

Bill had come in from behind while the two of them were sitting on the couch, and when they turned around to say hi, Bill had passed out right on the spot.

 

To this day, Eddie claimed that it didn’t look that scary and that Bill was just a pussy, but really. Of all the things to be caught in?

 

“C-calm down. At least he p-probably won’t r-recognize you because of it,” Bill pointed out, and Eddie walked over to Bill’s bed, sitting down heavily on the edge of it.

  
“Shit. You’re right,” Eddie mumbled, looking forlornly down at his tell-tale red shorts. He’d been wearing the same pair since his Freshman year in high school. Outgrown by now, but Eddie liked how they looked.

 

Except now they were kind of obvious. The Guy could totally make the connection, right?

 

“If he’s in that shower, he probably dorms somewhere on this floor. What are the fucking chances?”

 

Bill gave Eddie a small shrug. “I d-dunno.”

 

“Jesus, Bill,” Eddie said, falling backwards to lay across Bill’s legs.   
  
“It’s fine, Eddie,” Bill said, and Eddie knew that he was probably right. But really, a Leatherface impersonation was the last impression Eddie would of wanted to make on the guy. His only saving grace was that maybe, just maybe, the guy’s eyesight was bad enough to save him.

 

Eddie pulled himself off of Bill and laid himself to rest on his bed.

 

After that, the weekend went by without much excitement. Eddie didn’t wind up doing anything too exciting purely because he had an essay due the following Friday, and he preferred getting his essays done with a few days to spare.

 

During the weekend, Richie texted him a dozen times. It was about nothing in particular. They had added each other on Snapchat which meant Richie sent him a whole lot of stupid shit. Things like the kind of ice cream was eating and how it kind of looked like a ball sac or the shitty beer he was given at some smokey frat party.

 

**Poor you.**

 

**_Poor me indeed. Hollywood lied. College parties blow. They keep playing fuckin Chris Brown. Who the fuck still listens to chris brown???_ **

 

**Frat boys, mostly. Are any of them hot?**

 

**_Gotta say that frat boy isnt really my type_ **

 

**I figured your type was “anything with a pulse that was interested”**

 

**_Eddie!!! Do you think I am so shallow? I’m hurt. That’s biphobic you know_ **

 

**Oh please. You’d be a slut for attention no matter what your sexuality was.**

 

**_Do u think i am a slut?? I wouldnt blame you. My dick, after all, is a known legend from america to asia and everywhere inbetween. Ole james cameron wanted to make a prequel to titanic all about my dick and how it was an inspiration for the unsinkable ship_ **

 

**Are you comparing your dick to the boat that easily broke in half because it plowed into an iceberg?**

 

**_Its the motion of the ocean bby that counts_ **

 

**By breaking your dick in half.**

 

**_Anythin to get the toes curlin and ladies screaming_ **

 

**I literally do not think a single person alive would want a dick to break off in them.**

 

**_Kink shamin kaspbrak. Thats what your UN should be on tumblr_ **

 

Eddie snorted, rolling his eyes and setting his phone aside with nothing more to say on that. It did give him enough pause to consider a snack for the moment. He slid off his bed and went to the small fridge Bill and Eddie had for their room. He tugged out a small jar of salsa and grabbed the bag of tortillas.

 

Once he got settled in for his snack break, he noticed his phone had lit back up.

 

**_Do u really think im a slut?_ **

 

**For attention? Yes.**

 

**_No like sexually_ **

 

Eddie hesitated before responding. Had he offended Richie? He doubted it with how Richie talked. He popped a chip into his mouth, chewing it slowly as he contemplated the message.

 

**I wouldn’t be shocked if you were?**

 

**_;0) think i can pull all the pussy & dick huh?_ **

 

**Just because you can pull a lot of pussy and dick doesn’t mean it’s QUALITY pussy and dick.**

 

**_Excuse u i have amazing taste i happen to think you’re like the cutest boy alive. Arguably cutest human alive period now that i think about it. Scientists still have not figured out how you are so cute_ **

 

Eddie’s cheeks wound up turning roughly the same color as his salsa and he licked his lips. If Richie really was in the game of being a player, Eddie wouldn’t really judge him for that, but he wouldn’t want some guy like that hitting on him. It somehow made it feel inauthentic.

 

He wondered if that made him shitty.

 

Fuck, why did it even matter anyway? It wasn’t like Richie was serious. He fucked around with Eddie constantly like this. On top of that, he didn’t even know what Richie looked like. He barely knew anything about Richie at all.

 

**I need to work on my essay. Go enjoy your shitty frat party. Try not to catch any chlamydia.**

 

**_You DO care, Eddiekins!_ **

 

**I take it back. Catch chlamydia and perish.**

 

Eddie got a few more Snapchats for the rest of the night. Richie did not wind up taking someone home with him at night. Instead, he wound up at a McDonalds at three in the morning eating a pound of fries on the curb as he waited for a Lyft.

 

This was documented through a series of pictures of Richie’s ugly green shoes and frayed jeans and the McDonalds box itself. The shoes seemed a little familiar to Eddie, but at three in the morning, he was too tired to figure out where he knew them from.

 

It was sometime around four in the morning that Eddie had finally begun to fall asleep when he heard a loud clattering out in the hallway. Both Bill and he jerked awake, peering blearily at each other through the dim lighting from their shared night light tucked into the corner.

 

“What the fuck?” Eddie mumbled groggily. The sound of a voice carried briefly through the hall before eventually quieting down. There was a longer moment of silence and then a slamming door.

 

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie grumbled, dropping his face back into the pillow. Some people were such assholes. It was way past quiet hours. But thankfully, it seemed like whoever the fuck was out there had gone in for the night.

 

Eddie didn’t find the goodnight text from Richie until the following morning.

  


**ᐁᐃᐁᐃᐁᐃᐁ**

  


**_I was thinkin’ Spaghetti man_ **

 

**I hope you were wearing a seatbelt. And a helmet.**

 

**_I was. To protect me from the sheer force of my genius. Thnks for caring babe._ **

 

**Get fucked.**

 

**_Your mom did a gr8 job last night pegging me. 10/10 would let peg again_ **

 

**Beep fucking beep oh my GOD**

 

**_Ok ok but really. I think we should play online together sometime. Itd be fun_ **

 

**For another stream? I’m showcasing a brand new palette this Friday.**

 

**_Nah i just mean for fun. You & me & bill if he wants in_ **

 

That actually didn’t sound awful. Eddie couldn’t really remember the last time he bothered to play online with anyone.

 

**How about some other friends of ours?**

 

**_Sure. more the merrier._ **

 

That was set then.

 

They made plans to play some _Minecraft_ on Saturday with Bill, Bev, Mike, and Ben. Stan was busy with a lab write-up, but told them he’d join in on the next time they got together.

 

Friday came along and Eddie was excited to sample the Too Faced Chocolate Gold eye shadow palette. He spent the entire first four minutes of the video cooing over the design of the packaging and then half-crying over how vibrant and lovely the colors were.

 

“This is why God put me here on this earth,” he told his camera, squeezing the palette against his chest, grinning at the camera, “To fall in love with well made eyeshadow with vibrant pigment. I guarantee it. Look at this _gold!_ ”

 

He showed the camera the gold and then moved it towards his face to give it a faint sniff. “And of course, smells like chocolate.”

 

Eddie got to actually packing on the make-up. Normally he didn’t wear too much eye-shadow. He was a hell of a lot more comfortable in college than he had ever been in highschool, but his day-to-day look mostly consisted of making his skin look smooth and maybe a little shimmery with some highlighter.

 

Eye-shadow was reserved for his videos or parties. Special occasions, maybe, if he felt bold enough for it. All the same, he’d gotten good at applying it over the years.

 

“This gold,” Eddie said, spreading it over his left eyelid, “Represents all of the figurative money my degree promises me.”

 

He lifted the palette to point to the Money Bags swatch. “And this would be my crushing student debt. We’re gonna pile that on into the corners of our eyes like we’ll pile our student debt onto the corner of our lives, letting it weigh us down completely. Now you’re just going to blend until your student debts soak into your figurative money from that degree you got.”

 

He tipped his head back and forth, smiling brightly, his cheeks gleaming with the Anastasia Beverly Hills Dream Glow Kit - in Sunshine to compliment the look.

 

Spraying some setting spray over the look, he settled back to admire the final product.

 

“And that,” he said to the camera, “Is how you look pretty while swimming in your crushing financial failures. Enjoy!”

He blew a kiss to the camera and turned it off a second later. He’d edit tomorrow, but for now, he wasn’t going to let his make-up go to waste.

 

Eddie left his room, locking the door behind him. He’d told Bill and Stan he’d meet up with them at one of the places that served food late on campus. He always grabbed a late dinner on video days.

 

On his way to the staircase, the door swung open and he was greeted with that lovely smell he’d gotten a whiff of days ago.

 

His heart instantly climbed into his throat and he rolled his shoulders back. Time to redeem himself.

 

Gorgeous Dumbass had opened the door and was about to swing his long ass body right on through when he came to an abrupt halt. The guy’s eyes were magnified ridiculously by his glasses, and Eddie watched as they widened double their size.

 

When the guy’s mouth fell open, Eddie felt a warm fluttering explode in the pit of his stomach. Gorgeous Dumbass was still holding the door open, just gaping, and after a moment, Eddie raised a perfectly styled eyebrow.

 

“....Are you just going to stand there?” he asked, and instantly wanted to slap himself. Why did everything he say sound like it was edged with snark?

 

The guy’s mouth snapped shut and he moved quickly backwards, holding the door open for Eddie completely.

 

Eddie bit his lip, walking through it and finally gave Gorgeous Dumbass a smile.

 

“Thanks,” he said, and was glad that this time he at least sounded semi-sweet. He half wanted to stop and ask for a name, a number, anything. But despite Eddie’s confidence growing over the years, he had never actually….dated anyone or made any sort of move, and he was still thoroughly used to being a Derry nothing.

 

So, his shyness won out, and he bowed his head and quickly hopped down the steps before he could make a fool out of himself for a second time. It was for the best.

 

As he walked for the pizzeria on campus, he gradually felt his heart plummet down into his gut. It had been exciting meeting a guy who was so precisely and exactly his type, but as Eddie walked alone, he realized that he was a total dumbass for ever getting as excited about it as he had.

 

He was _Eddie Kaspbrak._ It didn’t matter that he had worked hard on improving his body. It didn’t matter that his medicine cabinet was now a moderate size. He always had been and always _would_ be a loser.

 

For Christ’s sake, he was wearing ten pounds of eyeshadow and most guys hated that kind of thing on other guys. He knew all about the kind of queer dudes out there who shamed any gay guy who was remotely stereotypical. Told them that they were somehow holding the rest of them back, like there was something wrong with being remotely feminine.

 

Eddie ground his teeth together, his self-resentment turning into just old fashioned resentment overall. He hated that he wanted to rush back to his dorm to scrub his face off. He hated that nothing had even happened. It wasn’t like the guy had said anything.

 

Somewhere along the way, his eyes began to sting and he could feel his throat closing up into a pinhole.

 

 _Please not now,_ Eddie pleaded with himself, _Jesus Christ why?_

 

He kept thinking that he was getting better with this. But every time he really felt an upswing, it suddenly caved back down on him and made him feel like the entire world was sitting on his chest. His fingers fidgeted and he reached up, fixing his hair.

 

 _‘Oh Eddie, of course no one is going to look at you like this. You look like a whore’_  the mother in his head whispered to him, ‘ _You’re a dirty boy to be walking around like this. Do you really want to hurt your mother like this? I expected so much better of you, Eddie._ ’

 

“Stop it,” he mumbled to himself, shutting his eyes as they began to burn so much more.

 

 _‘You can’t possibly think you’d ever be happy this far away from your mother, could you? It’s about time you come back home, Eddie, back to your mother. I’ll love you how no one else ever could. With me, you’ll never have to worry about what you look like. I can take care of you, Eddie-bear. You’re sick and it’s been a long, long time since you’ve had your medicine…._ ’

 

Why was this happening now? Jesus, why? Eddie hurried into the nearest building, feeling his lungs beginning to give out.

 

He wound up locked in a stall on the third floor bathroom of one of the academic buildings. It was completely silent, and were he not about to collapse into a full-blown panic attack, this might have scared him stupid.

 

Instead, he was grateful for the silence. He fell backwards against the inside of the door and covered his face with his hands. The sobs began somewhere from the pit of his stomach and climbed all the way up out of his throat. His breathing was shaking and harsh, sucking in and pushing out, sounding a good deal more like wheezing.

 

Eddie didn’t know how long he spent in that bathroom crying, eventually sinking down to the floor at some point. But at some point the crying began to trail off, leaving him with a pulsing headache.

 

He dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, sniffing wetly.

 

It was only then that he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.

 

Digging it out, he realized Bill was calling him.

 

“ _E-E-Eddie? Jesus- wh-where are you? We’ve b-been trying to c-call you f-for an hour. A-Are you okay?”_ Bill’s voice was staticy over the phone, but even so, Eddie could hear how worried he was. Old habits died hard, and Eddie felt guilt clawing at his stomach.

 

“Sorry, Bill. Um. Having a bad moment,” Eddie said quietly. Having lived with Bill for a while now, and having been best friends with him for even longer, it was pointless to lie.

 

 **“** _I c-can come find y-you. Are you b-back at our room?”_

 

“No, it’s okay. I’m- um. In some bathroom.”

 

 _“Did s-something happen? D-did someone s-say something?”_ And there was the defensive tone.

 

“No, I’m just being fucking-. Stupid. Literally nothing happened,” Eddie said, and that was probably the worst part. His legs slid out in front of him and he sniffed. “That stupid guy I think is really hot like-. I ran into him going out of our hall. He just looked at me, and like, held the door for me. That’s it! He didn’t even say anything.”

 

“ _O-Okay…._ ” Bill said patiently, softly. “ _Did it h-happen after that?”_

 

“Yeah. I was just walking and suddenly got thinking about how stupid I was for- for thinking…” Eddie trailed off, too embarrassed to even say it. It was pitiful, really, that he was sitting on the bathroom floor crying because he thought some hot guy would never look twice at him.

 

But Eddie knew it was a hell of a lot more than just that. It was always more than just one thing. Eddie liked to think he had grown to fit his own skin, but the truth was that he still felt out of place most of the time. He could build up his confidence, but it was a paper tower. There was nothing sturdy about it. Take one big wheeze and blow it all down, and he’d have to rebuild a day later.

 

That and any time his mind got going about his mom…..

“I can still hear her sometimes. I know it’s been years, but Christ.”

 

“ _E-Eddie she was….r-really abusive. I-It’s okay. You aren’t w-weak for...for having these moments, y-you know that, right? You’re so f-fucking strong.”_

 

“I’m...I’m really not,” Eddie laughed, “I’m the weakest in our entire group. In like every way.”

 

“ _N-No you’re not. D-do you know h-how much strength it to-took to be out in fucking D-Derry, Maine?”_

 

“I was practically dragged out of the closet, Bill. It doesn’t count.”

 

“ _You could have denied it. B-But you didn’t. Y-you fucking owned it, Eddie. You’ve always been my h-hero because of t-that,”_ Bill admitted. It was the first time he had ever told Eddie that, and for a couple of seconds, Eddie couldn’t say anything at all.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you always gotta...fucking do this. Take care of me.”

 

“ _S-shut up. You’re my brother, and b-besides, y-you still take care of me too, d-dumbass_ ,” Bill said, and it wasn’t a lie. Bill still had nightmares about Georgie. Eddie had spent plenty of nights crawling into bed with him to help ease some of the worst of it.

 

Eddie dropped his head back against the door with a low groan.

 

“ _You okay? I can still come get you,”_ Bill said.

 

“I’m okay. No, don’t. I’ll- I need to clean up. I probably messed up all my make-up crying like a jackass.”

 

“ _Maybe it looks g-grunge couture.”_  

 

Eddie actually laughed a little at that, a small, broken sound, and it made a few more tears spill out. God, he didn’t deserve his friends. He never had, and he never would.

 

“I love you so much, Bill.”

 

 _“I love you too, Eddie. A-And by the way, for what it’s worth, I’ll b-bet that guy thought you w-were really hot_ ,” Bill said, and Eddie could practically hear him waggling his eyebrows.

 

Eddie snorted, “Shut up. He did not. I - I’m going to clean up and I’ll see you guys soon, okay?”

 

“ _Okay. Text me when y-you’re about to head over._ ”

 

Eddie promised he would, and ended the call shortly after. He took a few slow, deep breaths, hiccuping his way through a couple of them. Climbing to his feet, he moved out of the bathroom and over to the sink.

 

“God,” Eddie said, sniffing at his reflection. “Thank you for setting spray.”  


His make-up was pretty smudged, but it was still mostly intact. Like Bill said, it kind of did look like grunge couture. Not the worst look. His cheeks were a little flushed, and his eyes embarrassingly puffy, but it would have to do.

 

As Eddie headed out of the bathroom, he got a text notif. Digging his phone out, he half expected it to be Bev. Whenever he had an attack, Bill would usually let the others know, and while the others handled Eddie in a more indirect way, Bev would always be the first to message him directly. Even if it was just with some cute dog video.

 

It was Richie.

 

**_Srry if you feel something brushing the back of your neck. Thats just the boner you gave me_ **

 

It was so out of the blue that Eddie couldn’t help but laugh rather brightly, slapping a hand down over his mouth. He hurried his way down the elevator and out of the empty academic building.

 

**Here I thought that was just a hair tickling my neck.**

 

**_God really tho you’re beautiful_ **

 

There was something decidedly much more serious about that text than the previous ones Richie had sent him. Flirting aside, Eddie had to stop walking to stare at the words. Was Richie serious? He supposed it was possible, but Eddie was still feeling raw enough from his little breakdown that he wasn’t so sure.

 

Richie didn’t exactly seem the malicious type to tease him either though, so Eddie didn’t jump to the conclusion that Richie was yanking his chain just to be an asshole. Maybe he was just drunk?

 

That somehow felt like the most suitable answer, so Eddie sniffed and replied after a couple of minutes.

 

**You know, you shouldn’t drink so much. You don’t need to be another college statistic of getting alcohol poisoning.**

 

**_R u kidding i literally cant tell_ **

Eddie didn’t bother with a reply. He had arrived at the pizzeria and right then, he just wanted to fall into the comfort of his friends and at least two inches of deep dish delight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: one of my roomies had never seen a face mask before and one day when I was wearing it, she came out of her room and saw me just sitting there and had a damn near heart attack. 
> 
> additionally, for those interested, you can hit me up on tumblr @ eshlit. i'm down to answer questions and chat about reddie. it's my lifeblood.


	3. Meet Me Where I Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever kiss the boy you've been crushing on but don't realize it's the boy you've been crushing on because you're just so fucking stupid? But then a clown dumps water over you and ruins it anyway?
> 
> Yeah, that's Eddie Kaspbrak's life in a nutshell.
> 
> The boys continue to be stupid- but it's mostly Eddie being stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied. Richie and Eddie did know each other as kids (they just don't remember it and neither does anyone else) and I guess this is gonna be supernatural after all. Soooorry. Also I guess two chapters of Eddie panicking in a row but really,,,,
> 
> ,,,,that's p ic for him. That kid is 90% anxiety. 
> 
> Anyway thank you for patiently awaiting the update! I went back to college myself so I had a few busy first weeks. Hope ya'll like the update. Feel free to bother me on tumblr (eshlita) if you want. I've got some one-shots planned that I hope to be writing soon! I posted one of em already in case you haven't already checked it out (The Universal Law of Reddie) so go enjoy that soup too! 
> 
> CW: PTSD moment in here towards the very end. Some mention of drug use but none of the Losers actually using. But they do drink.
> 
> I suck at editing my stuff so....if anything is just glaringly bad/obviously messed up feel free to lmk.
> 
> Thank you everyone for your support!

“What’s your favorite movie ever?” Richie asked. They were playing Overwatch that Saturday. Bill and Eddie had piled into Bill’s bed, and they both had headsets on their head. Mike and Bev were stationed in Eddie’s bed, using Bev’s TV.

 

It was the third personal question Richie had directly asked Eddie. Eddie was trying not to think too much about why Richie seemed more curious than usual. He even sounded nervous, but maybe that was just in Eddie’s imagination.

 

“ _ Mad Max Fury Road _ ,” Eddie replied easily, flicking his thumb back and forth across his controller. 

  
“Wait seriously?”

 

“Uh, yeah?” Eddie said, “I like cars, ripped dudes, and feminism. I get all three in that movie. Why? What’s your favorite movie?”

 

Richie didn’t answer right away. Mostly because right then, Eddie had found Richie in the game and crushed him thoroughly in one fell swoop. Apparently Richie mained as Sombra, but Eddie took on D.Va and he was relentless in his tank pursuits. 

 

“Son of a bitch,” Richie grunted, and both Bill and Eddie laughed. Bill mained as McCree and with Bev as Widowmaker and Mike handling Zarya, they were a pain in the ass to deal with on a good day. Stan usually played in as their support with Moira, but when lab work called, it called.

 

“ _ Emperor’s New Groove _ , obviously,” Richie finally answered.

  
“ _ Obviously _ .”

 

“Name a single better movie in all of mankind, Spaghetti.” 

 

“ _ Backdoor Sluts 9 _ ,” Bev chirped in, and the boys burst into laughter. 

 

“You got me there,” Richie cackled into the headset, “No one can master the artistry it requires to pull off a successful creampie, am I right Mikey boy?”

  
“Dude, you’re disgusting,” Mike said, smiling against his own mic.

  
“Ah and yet here we are...bonding.” 

 

They all vibed a lot better than Eddie had thought they would. Really, he didn’t know why he was so surprised. More than that, he didn’t know why he was so relieved. 

 

“Aren’t you going to ask the rest of us our favorite movies, Richie?” Beverly asked, her voice light enough that Eddie whipped his head around to glare at her. An instant regret as he was pummeled on the screen. Damn it.

 

“I’m not trying to get into all your pants- just Eddie’s.”

 

“What, and you think knowing about my insatiable thirst for V8s is going to do the job?” Eddie asked, ignoring both the burning in his cheeks and the fact that Bill was smirking annoyingly large at him. Traitor.

 

“It might,” Richie said, “It just might, Kaspbrak. Don’t write me off yet. Maybe I’ll melt down a car and make your engagement ring out of it.”

 

“Don’t you dare defile a car,” Eddie said.

  
“It’ll be an  _ old one  _ that doesn’t even work anymore.” 

 

Eddie pursed his lips together in thought, tapping away at his controlling hard as the Hanzo on Richie’s team popped up. 

 

“Maybe,” Eddie finally said. Richie whooped so loud on the other end of the line that all four of them grimaced and had to yank their headsets away. What a headache. Eddie took it back. This was an atrocious idea.

 

And yet by the time they finished playing around midnight, they agreed that they should make a routine out of this. It was fun, and even though Richie had spent the majority of the night being an obnoxious flirt with Eddie, he got along well with Eddie’s friends and Eddie wasn’t about to say he didn’t like that.

 

**ᐁᐃᐁᐃᐁᐃᐁ**

 

“The question is do I really want to paint myself blue?” Beverly asked from her spot on the floor. She had her chin resting against her knee cap and a bottle of dark purple nail polish opened next to her. She was painting her toes with a careful hand. 

 

“You’ve painted yourself red before,” Eddie pointed out. He was sprawled out on his bed, working on an essay for one of his classes.

“Yeah, but blue is so….” Beverly flicked her hand through the air. “ _ Blue. _ ”

 

“All I’m saying is you’ll make a lot better of a Mystique than Jennifer Lawrence,” Eddie said, finally looking down at her. Sitting on the floor between them was Bev’s portable Bose speaker. It was playing soft, crooning music. The door to Eddie’s dorm had been left open and he felt oddly at ease.

 

“I mean,” Bev said slowly, “That’s not hard. I just don’t want to get paint everywhere.”

 

“Dye some dance tights? At least for part of the costume.”

 

Beverly hummed and fell quiet shortly after that. The silence was comfortable. Beverly and Eddie had always been good friends by association of the others, but it wasn’t until they really began to talk that they realized how close they could be.

 

They just got each other in a way that the others never really did. Beverly didn’t have to explain to Eddie how it felt to go home to her father when she was young because Eddie had always understood what that felt like the way none of their other friends did.

 

“So,” Beverly began casually, and Eddie already wanted to say no. Close or not, Beverly was loud in all the ways Eddie wasn’t. It wasn’t a bad thing, but it meant that she liked to try and pry him out of his comfort zone way too often.

 

Granted, it was mostly because of her doing that that he even began to feel comfortable with himself, but lord knows by now he had tailored a glare specifically for Beverly Marsh.

 

“No,” he said.

 

“You didn’t let me say anything!” Bev accused, already grinning way too bright for him to be happy about anything that was about to be said.

 

“I don’t need to.” 

 

“Eddie! You’re in your sophmore year of college! Let’s live a little. There’s this Halloween party coming up and we gotta go. It’s a  _ costume  _ party!”

 

“Where?” Eddie asked. He was not entertaining the idea, he was just….Curious. 

 

“At one of the frats off campus,” Bev said, and Eddie automatically rolled his eyes.

 

“Definitely not.”

 

“I know, I know. But it’s the one Ben joined,” Bev said, “And it’s really not that bad. Come on. Can you imagine Ben joining a shitty frat?”

 

Truthfully, no, he couldn’t. Even though Ben had really fleshed out by college, it hadn’t changed his personality whatsoever. That guy would never tolerate some frat that bragged about how many women they could bed and throw parties just to get laid.

 

“Did you ask the guys?” Eddie asked, and Bev automatically bobbed her head up and down. Her hair was growing out from high school and was just past her jawline by now. Some point over the summer, she had tipped her hair in black. Eddie had entertained the idea of dying his hair before he got too paranoid about permanent hair damage. 

 

“They’re all coming,” Beverly said, “It’ll be super fun!”

 

Eddie sighed, laying himself flat out on the bed. “ _ Fine. _ ” 

 

Maybe he had given in too easily, but lately, he’d been feeling antsy. It had been forever since he had seen the Gorgeous Dumbass around. It felt a little unfair. Richie and him were texting on a regular basis, and it’d be a lie to say that he wasn’t occasionally flirting back.

 

Except he firmly told anyone who asked about it that it was just the way they spoke. They had an easy back and forth. That’s all there was to it.

 

Bill had asked him one night, rather coyly, why Eddie bothered staying up so late for someone he was “so casual” with. Eddie had replied maturely with a retort about how Bill was up just as late texting Mike, so maybe he shouldn’t be throwing rocks in a glass house.

 

In any case, it was different. Guys didn’t treat Eddie like this. And at the end of the day, as he told Bill at least a dozen times, he still had no idea what Richie looked like. Maybe it was shallow to care, but Eddie got caught up in some guilty fantasies every now and then about Richie having dark, curly hair and a pair of poorly held together glasses.

  
Shit, it wasn’t fair to either Gorgeous Dumbass  _ or  _ Richie. It was idolizing or something- Eddie couldn’t remember the term for it, but the last thing he needed to do was give himself a bunch of fake fantasies to be crushed by in a couple of months when they didn’t become reality. 

 

**ᐁᐃᐁᐃᐁᐃᐁ**

 

It took a week for them to figure out what they could wear together. In the end, it turned out to be a pretty easy decision. Bill already had plans for going as Draco Malfoy while Mike was planning a quidditch Harry Potter. Beverly had gotten a wig for Lily Munster, and with some convincing, managed to rope Ben into being Herman.

 

Stan dutifully and proudly called Grandpa Munster which left Eddie with a few decisions. It was a no brainer- even if face paint was the absolute worst.

 

“Green is not a flattering color,” Eddie said for about the third time the night of the party. 

  
“It is on you,” Bev said, “And it’s more of a  _ pale _ green. It’s not Elphaba green.”   
  


Eddie’s Eddie Munster was coming along pretty nicely. He dabbed his make-up wedge through some Ben Nye creme liner, working it onto his face carefully. He used some darker green for accenting, and within an hour, Bev and him were looking probably a little too legit for some frat party. 

 

“At least these costumes were cheap,” reasoned Bev as she picked up Lily’s skirts so that they could exit her dorm without her eating some shit on the way out.

 

“Sure,” Eddie said, “We look extra.” 

 

“You always look extra.”

 

“Yeah, but not at frat parties,” Eddie argued. He was glad he was at least wearing dyed tights on his arms and legs. He would be able to actually touch things without worrying about staining them.

 

They met up with Bill and Mike, who looked pretty great themselves, though Eddie noted that Mike was just a little too on the ripped side for one meek Harry Potter. He said as much, appreciatively grabbing Mike’s bicep.

  
“I’m serious. Harry wouldn’t need a wand if he had arms like these,” Eddie said, Mike snorting just next to him. And because Eddie was the world’s most amazing friend, he turned his head over his shoulder to look at Bill.

  
“Am I right or am I right, Big Bill?” 

 

Bill gave him a wonderful glare right back and Eddie felt justified. Bill never got around to answering, because it was about then that a group of particularly loud boys went barrelling past them. Eddie grimaced, this time holding onto Mike’s arm more out of nervousness than appreciation. He seemed to pick up on that and automatically removed his arm from Eddie’s grip to drape it over his shoulders instead.   
  


“It’ll be fine,” Mike assured him, “Besides if anyone starts being a dick to anyone, I’ll cart us outta there.”

  
“Thanks, Mike,” Eddie said, and he meant it. Mike didn’t really drink, and he usually was the one who kept a clear head. Bill was the same way, and with his newfound interest in Mike, he drank even less than before. 

 

Eddie and Beverly, on the other hand, were a little more unhinged. They didn’t drink too much outside of these occasional parties, but they had both grown up in such controlled homes that it was hard for either of them not to indulge just a little bit.

 

He wasn’t so sure about drinking at a party full of strangers though. They had covered an entire part of their freshman orientation about how dangerous college parties could be. Eddie huddled a little closer to Mike, getting a whiff of sandalwood. Lord, Eddie had to hand it to Bill for having prime taste.

 

It made him wonder, for just a second, what Richie smelled like.  _ Probably Mountain Dew and Doritos.  _

 

It should have been a disgusting thought, but instead, Eddie just grinned a little.

 

“What’s got you smiling?” Mike asked.

  
“No one,” Eddie murmured without thinking, only to realize what he said a second later. He felt his face burning under the thick layer of Ben Nye on his face. “Shut up.”

  
“I didn’t say anything.”

  
“I can physically  _ feel  _ you wanting to,” Eddie said, “And it’s annoying.”

 

“Whoops,” Mike said innocently, and Eddie pulled out from under Mike’s arm. 

 

“I change my mind,” Eddie said, “Bill has awful taste.”   
  


“What?” Mike asked, and Eddie looked over, smiling crookedly.

 

“What?” he echoed back. Beverly laughed, moving past Mike to link arms with Eddie. Mike fell back, and Eddie could vaguely hear Mike and Bill talking. But Bev and Eddie had walked on a bit faster. Maybe to give the other two boys privacy. Maybe because Beverly was excited to be out tonight, excited to see Ben.

 

Eddie just wanted to check his phone, he realized as they finally approached the house. He wondered if Richie would be up tonight playing a game or something. His fingers itched to shoot him a text, maybe even take a selfie. Maybe when he got inside.

 

Inside was….

 

...Actually not that bad. College movies really got it wrong with the whole stairwell full of scantily clad girls making out with each other to get the attention of boys. It was a bit stuffy and crowded, smoke that smelled foully like skunk reeking up the air that made Eddie’s lower lip curl in distaste, and in some room Eddie could hear music pulsing.

 

They somehow made it into the kitchen where the flow of traffic was decent enough to breathe a bit. Everyone was at least dressed up, and Eddie didn’t feel quite as insecure as he had a while ago. There was someone in one of those giant blow-up sumo costumes idly bouncing up and down in it in sync with the music from the other room.

 

Stan was already there, sitting up on one of the counters and sipping a beer. For someone who was wearing the kind of make-up to make him look like an older dude, he looked pretty good. Ben was looking decent himself, already sipping at a beer when he saw Beverly and Eddie. He gave a short wave to Mike and Bill, before proceeding to approach Bev with some serious intention.

 

It wasn’t shocking how it happened. One moment they were together, laughing, and next, everyone had split off. Mike and Bill had vanished, and Ben and Bev had ducked out into the other room to dance.

 

Eddie didn’t mind. He was left leaning up against the counter next to Stan. They were good at these comfortable silences together. Eddie picked at the label on his Mike’s Hard Lemonade and that’s when he remembered he had wanted to take a selfie for Richie.

 

He popped out his phone and raised his hard lemonade up to put his lips around the top and take a picture, eyes peering up. Maybe it was a  _ tiny  _ bit suggestive, but in his defense….

 

In his defense he didn’t have a defense. He shot the picture over with nothing else, shoving the phone away quickly as if it would somehow erase how fucking embarrassing that was to do. Stan was peering down at him, smirking in that douchey smirky way of a best friend, and Eddie raised his middle finger.

 

If his phone ever vibrated with a reply, Eddie wouldn’t know. The entire house seemed to buzz with energy, and someone had cranked up the music even louder which made the house burst into applause. A pretty girl in a peacock costume had been eyeing Stan for the past ten minutes at  _ least.  _

 

Eddie nudged Stan casually, clearing his throat. Stan looked down at him, brows raised, and Eddie gave a tip of his head.

  
“So uh, what’s that species of bird called?”

 

Stan looked over towards the girl and instantly blushed. She was dressed in a cute sort of way that definitely cozied up to sexy without being full-blown lingerie. Eddie could mostly tell she was a peacock from her bird mask that covered the top half of her face and the puffy little skirt she was wearing over a black leotard. It was cheap, probably, but honestly pretty endearing, Eddie had to admit. 

 

“Um,” Stan said with all of the elegance of a boy struck dumb. 

 

“Yeah-huh. I’d go say hi,” Eddie encouraged, and Stan shook his head slowly. Next to Eddie, Stan had been just as badly isolated back in high school. Girls in Derry liked to sneer at Stan for any number of reasons, and so Stan definitely wasn’t used to being looked at like that by some girl.

 

Especially a girl dressed as one of Stan’s favorite creatures on earth.

 

“I don’t….What if I say something stupid?” Stan asked, his nervousness earnest enough that Eddie gently squeezed his arm.

 

“Hey,” Eddie said softly, Stan turning to look down at him, “You won’t, okay? You’re the funniest Loser here and if she doesn’t laugh within five minutes- ditch her. You’re fine. We’re not in Derry anymore.” 

 

Stan gave a firm nod, but then hesitated again. “I don’t want to leave you alone, Eddie.”

 

Eddie shrugged, popping himself up onto the counter. “It’s fine, seriously. I want to text Richie anyway.”

 

Normally he wouldn’t paint such an obvious target on his head, but he’d do it if it meant getting Stan to go flirt with Miss. Peacock, here. Stan opened his mouth, looking like he wanted to retort, and he probably did, but then he was looking over at Miss. Peacock and his mouth closed. 

 

That’s what Eddie thought.

 

Stan finished off his beer, carefully put the bottle into the recycling bin instead of just throwing it, and walked over to the girl. She instantly straightened up, her mouth pulling open into an honest-to-God glowing smile, and Eddie knew that Stan had nothing to worry about. He’d be fine.

 

Eddie hadn’t been lying anyway. He tugged his phone out and looked to see if Richie had responded, but just as he did, someone was standing right in front of him almost awkwardly close.

 

Eddie picked his head up and jumped a little bit.

 

The friggan Teenage Werewolf was staring right back at him. Except- wait.

 

Eddie’s fingers clutched tightly around his phone and his mouth went a little dry. Oh, fuck. This wasn’t some hokey costume either. This guy had done some serious work on making it look like fur was growing out of the sides of his face and into a mass of black, curling hair. He’d even bothered with a prosthetic partially transformed wolfish nose, and big sclera yellow contacts. He wore a white and red letterman jacket that had the initials R.T. on the front, and when the guy smirked, he had a mouthful of fangs.

 

Even his hands were clawed.

 

Eddie felt a rush of shame shoot hot through his body. He can’t believe he had ever made fun of people for having monster fetishes before. He took it back. He understood. He understood completely.

 

This guy wasn’t just hot- this guy was  _ Gorgeous Dumbass  _ and Eddie had no fucking clue what to do with himself. His thighs pressed together and he clutched his bottle a little harder.

 

“Um, hi,” Eddie said, feeling stupidly useless. The music drowned out his voice a little, but the guy seemed to understand him just fine. 

 

“Hey,” the guy said, his voice a bit hard to understand over the roaring music and people in the background. Eddie could barely make it out, and instead had to look at the guy’s lips.

 

“Didn’t think I’d see you here,” the guy said, and Eddie felt his entire stomach swoop. Gorgeous Dumbass had been thinking about him? Jesus fuck. There was no way this was actually happening. Eddie looked up above him, almost as if expecting to see a bucket of blood sitting there ready to be spilled.

 

There was no such thing, and he wound up staring back at the guy.

 

“Well,” Eddie said eventually, spreading a hand out, “Here I am.”

 

“Here you are,” the guy agreed lowly, staring over Eddie with eyes that were intense even despite the contacts. Eddie dimly realized that he was still wearing his glasses- and it should look ridiculous with the make-up, but it just worked.

 

“Your costume is really good,” Eddie said in earnest, “Like. Super good.”

 

“Thanks! I told you I-,” But the guy’s voice drowned out when a group of sorority girls poured into the kitchen. Eddie slipped off the counter, his hips briefly sliding against Gorgeous Dumbass’s. The guy grabbed his arm with a firm, but gentle grip, and moved them out of the way of the girls thirsting for some shots.

 

“Here, let’s go out into the other room,” the guy shouted now over the girls chittering away. Eddie looked around to try and see if he could find Stan, but Stan was nowhere in sight. Well that was just fine. 

 

If Stan was going to enjoy himself, then so was Eddie.

 

They all could enjoy themselves tonight.

 

The other room happened to be where the dancing was going on, and the guy and Eddie stood by the wall. Eddie felt like the entire room was sweltering around them, and he was so glad his costume involved shorts.

 

“Do you wanna dance?” the guy called over the music. The music in the room was loud enough that Eddie barely heard him, but he heard enough to eagerly nod his head. Shit. He hadn’t actually though that the guy would be interested. Not after Eddie had been such a dipshit near him.

 

He’d never danced with a boy like this before. Well, okay, that wasn’t strictly true. He had danced with Mike and Bill constantly. But he had never danced with a boy with his entire body. His arms slid around the guy’s neck, and it occurred to Eddie that he could ask for his name. But it didn’t really seem appropriate right then, not with how the guy covered his large hands over Eddie’s waist. 

 

Eddie was so, so fucked.

 

He rolled his hips up against the guy’s, grinding against him in a fluid, rolling motion. At first, he felt completely stupid, and he was a bit stilted in repeating the motions, but the guy seemed genuinely into it. With how he was looking at Eddie, Eddie almost felt like he could eat a bowl of nachos in front of the guy and it’d blow him away.

 

For some reason, that reminded him of Richie, and he laughed before he could help it. The guy tipped his head, grinning down at him, and asked, “What’s so funny?”

 

Eddie felt weirdly ashamed, bowing his head down and resting his forehead against the guy’s jacket. He forgot to consider his face make-up.

 

Instead, he shook his head lightly. It wasn’t fair. It made his skin itch to be thinking of Richie when he had this fucking perfect ten grinding on him. It wasn’t like Richie and him were dating or anything, no, but...They flirted enough that it was hard for Eddie to not feel like he was maybe crossing a line somehow.

 

He didn’t owe Richie anything, he knows that. They hadn’t ever even said anything to each other about this junk. For all Eddie knew, Richie just was this way with boys he found cute. Maybe he wasn’t interested in stuff like dating.

 

That wasn’t even considering the long distance thing either.

 

Eddie was snapped out of his thoughts when a warm hand slid up into the dip of his lower back.

 

“Where’d you go, Major Tom?”

 

Eddie looked up, startled, and weirdly charmed. “What?”

 

“You looked miles away. You okay?” The guy seemed concerned in earnest, smiling, but his eyes searching Eddie’s face. It was..actually really nice, and Eddie felt his guilt double down. He slid his hands to the front of the guy’s chest, and he bit his lower lip with his own fanged teeth.

 

“I’m okay. I think I’m just feeling a little hot,” Eddie admitted, and the guy nodded in understanding.

 

“I can get us some drinks?” he offered, and Eddie snorted. 

 

“That’s like. Classic rule of thumb for me to say no to,” Eddie pointed out, and the guy put a hand over his chest, mouth falling open in a dramatic fashion. Again, it reminded Eddie painfully of something Richie would do. This guy was as animated as he had always imagined Richie would be in real life.

 

“Are you insinuating I have ulterior motives!”  Even over the pulse of the music, Eddie could tell the guy was joking, and it made him laugh, his shoulders shaking.

 

“What can I say? I want to be cautious. You’re literally a predator right now,” Eddie pointed out, reaching out a hand to flick the tip of the guy’s nose. The guy looked so surprised by this gesture that Eddie was laughing all over again. Fuck, maybe he wasn’t Richie, but he was so damn cute.

 

“C’mon. We can get drinks together,” Eddie said, grabbing the guy’s hand and leading him back into the kitchen. 

 

It was doubly as crowded before. Some girl had whipped out a bong, and others were waiting their turn. Eddie sighed. He hated weed worse than he hated cigarettes. The smell was ten times more insufferable, and stoners were God damn  _ annoying. _

 

“Not a fan of the bud?” the guy asked. Eddie reached his hand out for one of the bottles of Patron left on the sharing table.

  
“Smoking causes cancer- even the smoke from blunts and whatever,” Eddie said smartly, “ _ And _ it smells awful.”

 

“I hear alcohol is pretty bad for you too,” the guy said, and Eddie looked up at him with a flat look. The guy raised his palms up. “Hey, just sayin’.”

 

“Do you smoke?” Eddie asked, glancing over at the girl with the bong. It made his stomach squirm a little uncomfortably to think that the guy would smoke, and he wasn’t sure why. It’s not like he could control his life.

 

The guy awkwardly rubbed at the back of his neck, shrugging. “I mean, I smoke cigarettes, yeah. I’ve done weed but it sort of just made my anxiety like. Ten times worse. I thought that my neighbor was trying to kill my cat. I don’t even  _ own  _ a cat.” 

 

Eddie was surprised by the laugh that burst out of him. “Oh my God. I’m sorry. That was really rude of me. Were you okay after?”

 

Thankfully, the guy was laughing too, and he shook his head. “It’s okay. Fuck, I mean, kind of? It wasn’t a good time. My buddy made me try it again in case it was some bad trip, but me and ole Mary don’t vibe well.”

 

Eddie felt something relax in his gut. It reminded him, for some reason he couldn’t really understand, of the Neibolt house. Some drugs tended to do that. What was worse, maybe, was the fact that he didn’t know why thinking of the Neibolt house made him feel so queasy.

 

“That’s cool,” Eddie said, and then reiterated, “I mean like. Really cool. I don’t- I don’t really like that kind of stuff? Not that I’m saying I wouldn’t like you if you did it but…”

 

Eddie stopped talking, feeling a little stupid. The guy just kept smiling down at him.

 

“It’s okay, cutie, you don’t gotta like shit all,” the guy said, shrugging easily, and Eddie felt even better. A lot of people thought he was a real stiff for that kind of opinion. Especially since so many people thought weed was the most casual drug out there. Eddie always wanted to know if people who thought that had ever heard of basic aspirin. 

 

“I have tried shrooms though,” the guy admitted a second later, and Eddie literally gave a small shriek of shock, his hand slapping over his mouth.

 

“That can be so dangerous!”

 

The guy laughed again, nodding before taking a swig of his own drink. Eddie was pretty sure that he had picked out some Svedka. 

“It was fine. That was okay,” the guy said, but then tipped his solo cup. “I mostly just stick to drinking. I got like a- uh. Addictive personality, you know? I feel like I could get into coke if I went off and started trying all kinds of shit.”

 

It was….Surprisingly open, and Eddie wondered for a second if that kind of thing should be considered oversharing or not. But it was the kind of honesty that Eddie found himself appreciating. After all, he had spent most of his childhood being lied to.

 

“Smart of you then,” Eddie said finally, nodding, “Seriously. Most people don’t know how to take that part of themselves seriously.”

  
“Oh yeah, that’s me, baby. Serious. Might as well be my middle name,” the guy said with a dramatic wink, and Eddie laughed, hiding his face briefly behind his solo cup. That  _ almost  _ sounded like Richie. But Eddie thought he was maybe starting to project a little bit.

 

“Hey, um, what’s your-,” Eddie began to ask, but there was suddenly a huge crash from the other room and a few screams. The guy instinctively moved against Eddie’s side, his hand coming to rest around his waist and tugged Eddie close against his side.

 

Eddie felt dizzy by the protective grab, and he was so busy trying to figure out that sweet, spicy smell rolling off the guy to remember that something loud had just happened. In his defense, Patron was the Devil’s drink and he was feeling warm from head to toe.

 

Warm enough that he forgot what he had planned on asking and was now absently sliding his hand over the guy’s chest. It felt firm. Really firm. Eddie tucked his face against it, breathing him in. He was  _ just  _ getting to the comfortable end of tipsy to feel okay doing this.

 

“You smell nice,” he finally announced, picking his head up to deliver the good news. The guy still looked a bit worried about the sounds, but laughter had carried from the other room and that seemed good enough for him. He soon looked down at Eddie, grinning.

 

“Yeah? Bet you’re surprised,” the guy said, and Eddie felt almost confused for a second. Why would he have been surprised? Then Eddie thought maybe it was because he was wearing a werewolf costume. Maybe he was making a dog joke, and thinking that a little bit tipsy had Eddie laughing again. 

 

“I am surprised,” Eddie said, “That you’re even talking to me.”

 

The guy’s smile dropped and he full on tilted his head. Eddie thought that he looked like a dog that had just heard a very odd noise.

 

“....What? Why is  _ that  _ surprising?”

  
“Well, um, you know,” Eddie said helpfully, twisting the guy’s shirt up into his fingers. Even though he was tipsy, he suddenly felt very aware of himself.

 

“I’m…” Eddie tried, but he couldn’t think of what he wanted to say.

 

“You’re like. Insanely hot?” the guy offered, picking Eddie’s head up by slipping his slightly furry palm under Eddie’s chin to lift it up. The compliment made Eddie go a little weak in the knees. 

 

“Seriously?” He wasn’t even trying to fish, and the guy seemed to know it because he just gave this real serious nod right back.

 

“Plus,” the guy said, and his voice was just soft enough that Eddie barely understood what he said next: “I...really like you, Eddie.”

 

As far as Eddie was concerned, he just heard ‘Like are you ready?’

 

“Okay,” Eddie said with a nod, “I’m ready.”

 

Ready for what? He didn’t know, but with how the guy was staring at him all of a sudden, he was positive he was about to find out.

 

And he did.

 

Eddie couldn’t pinpoint when the guy had leaned down or when Eddie had leaned up, but their mouths were sliding together in this warm, chaste kiss. Eddie didn’t remember sliding his arms around the guy’s neck, but he certainly remembered how the guy’s arms wrapped securely around his waist and pulled him up close and personal.

 

Fuck. Oh, fuck.

 

The guy cracked his mouth open just enough to slip the tips of their tongues together, but of course, because Eddie’s life was one big running gag, that’s when he felt ice cold liquid drench down the back of his shirt.

 

It was his shriek of shock that broke their kiss, and Eddie had arched up against the guy like a cat, and not in the sexy kind of way he had previously been thinking about.

 

Behind them, standing at a daunting six foot maybe five inches was some motherfucker dressed in a clown costume. The clown had a crooked, unsettling grin on his face, and a bucket in his hands.

 

“Whoops,” the clown said, “Sorry, girly boy.”

 

The name slid through Eddie like a shock of electricity and he was left gaping uselessly. He didn’t remember much of what happened next. Shock made the world around him go a little numb, and he could feel warm hands around his face, someone saying his name.

 

Then there was smoke and clear air and stars. Voices swam together, and Eddie distantly wondered where Richie was. He swore he could hear a young boy screaming in his ear, screaming “Eds! Eds! Holy shit!” 

 

But no one was screaming, and what Eddie remembered next was waking up in a soft bed with Beverly Marsh curled up in a t-shirt and sweats sleeping next to him. When he stirred, so did she. She unfolded herself from her curled up position, and upon seeing Eddie, she bolted upright.

 

“Oh Jesus, you’re awake.”

 

“What the fuck,” Eddie said, his voice hoarse. “What the fuck happened?”

 

“Eddie,” Beverly said, leaning over to flick on the light next to her dorm bed. Her roommate was out of the room completely, it seemed. He looked down at himself. Someone had put him into an old Rolling Stones t-shirt. He knew for a fact none of his friends, including Bev, owned this shirt. Maybe it was Bev’s roommate’s? 

 

His face smelled faintly like Pacifica’s Kale water and he knew Bev must have gotten all his make-up off. 

 

“Jesus fuck,” he said, “Did I get roofied or something?”

 

“No,” Bev said, shaking her head, “I don’t think so anyway. You had a really bad panic attack, Eddie.” 

 

“What? I don’t even…” he began to say he had no memory, but then he remembered that fucking clown, and he suddenly felt like he was about to be sick. Bev must have seen as much because she was launching herself off the bed and grabbing the trash bin near her desk.

 

Eddie kept his head in the trash bin for at least ten straight minutes. Patron tasted a hell of a lot better going down than coming back up.

 

“Did  you drink a lot?” Bev asked gently. He knew she wasn’t trying to accuse him of anything. He knew she just wanted to know where he was mentally.

 

“Fuck, no. I had one Mike’s and less than half a cup of tequila,” Eddie said, and it was definitely enough to put him on the path to a comfortable drunk state, but nowhere near smashed. 

 

“Okay, good,” Bev said, rubbing his back. She moved to grab some tissues and helped him to clean up a bit.

 

“Shit. I was- oh no,” Eddie said, looking up at Bev with wide eyes. “I was with a guy? What happened to him?”

 

“Teen Werewolf?” Bev asked, and Eddie instantly nodded. Bev smiled and she actually looked...happy?

 

“Oh, he was actually really fucking nice. He helped me carry you back here and grabbed me one of his spare shirts for you to sleep in,” Bev explained, “And he made sure you weren’t like. Dying of something before he headed out.”

 

Eddie rubbed at his nose, blushing full on. Fuck. “I gotta thank him.”

 

“Mmm, you can do that tomorrow,” Bev said, “He left me his dorm room for you. Said you guys live on the same hall. Which is a wild coincidence if you ask me. Like seriously, what are the chances?” 

 

Eddie wondered what she was even talking about, but his mind had already wandered away from the night and back to that clown. 

 

“What happened to the clown? That asshole dumped water all over me,” Eddie said, looking over his shoulder as if to expect remaining water to be all over his backside.

 

“What?” Bev asked, frowning.

 

“The clown. There was this jerk dressed as a clown who poured a bucket of like, ice water all over me?” Eddie said, gesturing at himself. Bev still looked confused.

 

“What are you talking about?” she asked again, but gentler, “You were totally dry.” 

 

Now it was Eddie’s turn to gape at her, slowly blinking. “What?”

 

“Eddie, no one dumped water on you. And I mean I guess I saw a clown, but last I saw Ronald McDonald he was doing a keg stand. And that’s when Ben got me telling me you were having an attack in the kitchen.”

 

Eddie shook his head back and forth. Maybe the guy had run off? But then what about the water? He touched his back. It had felt so real. It had scared the living shit out of him.

 

“I swear I felt it dump water on me,” Eddie mumbled, not even realizing his switch in pronouns. Beverly did though, and she looked a little pale.

 

“What do you mean It?” 

 

Eddie stared back at her, looking just as confused. “I...Him- I mean him.”

 

“Let’s get you to sleep, okay? Do you want a toothbrush? I have your spare here still.” 

 

Eddie still felt a little shaken up, but honestly, he didn’t really want to think about the clown anymore. He wanted to brush his teeth and fall asleep thinking about the fact that this guy had gone above and beyond to help Eddie out tonight. It’s not like there was any way the guy was about to score ass from someone having a full fledged panic attack, so it wasn’t like he could benefit from this.

 

Eddie was drained from everything though, and while he wanted to apologize to Bev for probably ruining her night with Ben, and although he wanted to ask if Mike and Bill got their shit together, he found himself falling fast asleep.

  
And somewhere in his dreams, he heard the sound of a cackling laugh that sounded painfully familiar. Warm hands grabbing him out of some gaping darkness, and soft amused words asking him,  _ “Got any good chucks lately, Eds? _ ”

**Author's Note:**

> ....I may or may not have made those blogs mentioned into actual blogs over on Tumblr.
> 
> The charities mentioned in the story are all really good charities that I've actively donated to before. If you want to give them a look, go for it!  
> -OutRight Action International  
> -True Colors Fund  
> -WildAid  
> -Last Chance for Animals


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